I’ve had a lot on my mind lately and I’ve lost major sleep over it. I thought it was the typical yawn all day, get home to sleep and your brain is wide awake thing but it wasn’t. a lot of my friends have been going through a lot and I honestly don’t know how to help. usually I have at least some kind of solution but this time I don’t. since i don’t have any solutions for them, I’m not sure if they think I’m useless or what but since the situation is out if my control I feel as if they don’t see value in me anymore. Now, i know this is a far reach since I’ve talked to other friends about this matter but “friends do change.” In the grand-scheme of things I’m just an emotional repressed human that doesn’t take isolation well in the winter time but it’s literally the worse .
I wrote on another journal last night that was a little more private than this platform but it felt good to write down what I was really feeling and try to tackle the emotional that are running loose in my mind. I was able to fill up 2 pages (might not seems like a lot but it was) with what i was actually feeling without doing the most. It’s hard for me to vocalize raw emotion but it was a moment. What was the moment you ask? (no one is asking 😂) As stated in my previous blog, I said that I am an initially repressed human being that doesn’t know how to take a person’s answer as is. A felt as though I was being lied to when in reality I wished I was being lied to so that I can blow up in the persons face but the person was actually telling the truth. Sometimes I require a lot of attention.